As I'm sure all of you parents out there know, kids are nosy, attention seeking, and sleep through any level of noise, until you are buck naked doin your thang.

Here are some secrets to keepin those kiddos outta your hair while you frolic.

Front To Back

For anyone out there who has a bed that was built vertically into your rig, and not horizontally, you know how much rocking these things can endure without tipping over! However, in all seriousness, kids rolling off bunks...not so great for keeping them asleep.

If you "do the deed" the long way, the rocking is WAY less, especially if you chock the tires.

Tame It Down

This one can be unfortunate for some. Tis life, my dear friends.

If y'all wanna throw each other around in a carnal fury of passion and really "rock the kasbah", your kids better be old enough to go to the pool or common area by themselves at a camp ground, or drive your vehicle, otherwise, sorry folks, it just won't happen.

Let's put it like this: if you're on a boat that's gradually rocking, you assume all is good. If it starts flopping around like a depraved sea lion, you assume something is very wrong. Kids aren't dumb--earthquakes aren't THAT commonly occurring no matter where you live!

Choose Your Positions Wisely

This may sound odd, but think about this. If one, or all, of your little ones DO happen to wake or return early from "errands" and you have thrown the covers off the side of the bed, and are bent over a dresser, there's no getting outta that.

However, if the blankets are on the side of the bed at all times, or covering you, it's a quick maneuver while horizontal in ANY way and y'all are just snuggling or tickling each other (to explain the motion). Even if you're facing opposite directions with one of you sitting, bottom grabs the blanket, top leans forward, and boom--giving the other a foot massage😂

Creativity is your best friend here.

Do A Load Of Clothes

Yes, you read that right. If you are at a campground or have full hookups, start the washer/dryer because it's loud. If your kids can sleep through that, you should be good to go.

If you are the loud sort, sink your chompers into a nearby pillow or blanket to muffle the sound.

Do It Less

I know, I know, this sounds earth shattering to some of you, especially all of you younger folks out there, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. If the need is that bad and not happening, tell your significant other to take the kids for a walk and handle things yourself.

rv sex, dad take kids for walk, masturbating

Reality is, just because you want to, doesn't mean it's going to happen. The best suggestion I have is tire your kids OUT!

I don't care if you make them run a marathon outside, go kitesurfing, shovel around your whole rig, or try catch birds. MAKE THEM TIRED! They will sleep like a bear in hibernation.

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